Evil Pink Paint
by Silvery Ribbon
Summary: The life of Sasuke, Naruto, Gaara, and Neji in an all boys boarding school GaaNeji SasuNaru EVERYONE except maybe Naruto is OOC
1. Evil Roomies

**Author's Notes: **Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own naruto

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"New school…yay…" sighed Naruto. It was going to be another hateful, boring year at a new school. Except this school was a boarding school unlike the other public schools he had been to. His parents cared, sure, but sometimes the blonde was just too much for them. They thought sending him to some fancy school would help him straighten things out. Ch. In a million years.

Upon arriving at the school he was rushed towards his dorm and there he met his roommates. It was four to an apartment like thing and they all had two rooms in them. Meaning that Naruto would have to share with someone. They counselor person introduced him to his roommates.

One of the boys had red hair and pale green eyes with black outlining them. He wore a loose black shirt and black cargo pants. The counselor introduced him as Sabaku no Gaara. The boy just glared at him and walked off.

Another boy had long brown hair. His eyes were totally white and had no pupils; it was kind of unnerving to look at him. He wore a white shirt and black shorts (**Kori:** because I say so). This boy was named Hyuuga Neji. Neji nodded his head in courtesy and left in the direction that Gaara went.

The last boy had black hair and black eyes (**Kori:** gee what a coincidence). He had a navy blue shirt and white shorts on.

"This, Naruto, is who you'll be sharing your room with. His name is Uchiha Sasuke," said the Counselor person who I now officially name Iruka (**Kori:** because he was the first person I thought of besides Kakashi and you wouldn't want Kakashi as a counselor would you? No? I didn't think so). Naruto nodded and the other boy glared at him and left. Well this was hell. All of his roommates seemed to dislike him already. _Eh oh well, not like I care everyone else seems to hate me._

Naruto's parents helped him bring his stuff up to his room and then left their son with a couple of goodbyes. Naruto watched them vanish into the distance and then sighed. Then smirked and trudged back up to his dorm/apartment.

When Naruto stepped into the living room the first thing he saw was a wall. Duh. And then he looked on the couch to see Gaara sitting there listening to his CD player.

"Uh….-" started Naruto.

"Sh! You don't want to disturb him. C'mon I'll help you unpack," offered Sasuke. Naruto nodded dumbly and followed the raven haired boy to their room. Naruto and Sasuke soon got all of Naruto's stuff set up and Sasuke was now giving the blonde a 'tour' of their 'home.'

"Let's see where to start. Well out here is the living room type thing. Biggest room in this apartment. There's Gaara the scariest person on campus and it's his first year here. His only friend so far is Neji; he's been here for one and a half. Hey Gaara," said Sasuke. Gaara just nodded and continued to listen to his music. They wandered into the kitchen and found Neji sitting at the table doing his homework.

"This is the kitchen. If you want anything edible you'll probably find it here. Oh and note never eat anything that is gray and pukish looking. That's Gaara's and Gaara is the only one who eats it," explained Sasuke.

"Well Neji seems to be eating er… drinking it," Naruto pointed out.

"Well…anyone who's Gaara's friend can stand that stuff," said Sasuke.

"Gee you're so nice to Gaara. No wonder he hates you," mumbled Neji. "Oh mind you don't eat anything that has Gaara's name on it either… not that it's much."

"Be quiet Neji, baka," mumbled Sasuke.

"At least I'm not the one Gaara is glaring at right now," said Neji.

"What?" asked Sasuke in confusion. In the background he heard an 'ahem.'

"Neji, your CD. Sasuke you can drink some of the gray puke," said Gaara. He glared and Sasuke gulped and shook his head, while taking a step backwards. Neji sighed and grabbed Gaara's arm to prevent the boy from attacking Sasuke and shook his head no. Gaara glared at Neji, then Sasuke, and left.

"Well that was…interesting…" said Naruto; staring at Gaara's retreating figure.

Sasuke sighed in relief and said, "Only when you're not the one getting glared at."

"Are all the people here this crazy?" asked Naruto.

"No only him," replied Neji. "Unless you count that dude…what's his name?"

"Kiba? Shikamaru? Shino? ….hmmm…Rock Lee?" suggested Sasuke.

Neji nodded, "That's the kid."

"Oh god he's so annoying. Fuzzy brows is what you should call him. He's weirder than Gaara and this other kid named Shino," explained Sasuke to Naruto sat there lost. "Rock Lee is crazy. He wears all green and is all emotional. He looks almost exactly like the science teacher, Gai."

"Oh the dude in all green with some orange? With those really thick brows?" asked Naruto.

"Yeah that's him. Did you hear the doorbell ring?" asked Neji.

"Yep," answered Naruto. Neji got up to go get the door and Naruto and Sasuke continued their conversation. "So I should stay away from this Lee kid?"

"Yeah. Stay away from Gai too. He gives out speeches about how we're wasting our childhood," stated Sasuke.

"So…do you have a reason for being at this school?" asked Naruto.

"My parents sent me here so that I could be like my big brother. Except he's insane. There's another person that's insane. He's okay sometimes though. His name's Uchiha Itachi, but you won't be seeing much of him since he's two years ahead of us," explained Sasuke.

"What about Neji?" asked Naruto.

"What about me?" questioned Neji as he walked back into the kitchen.

"Who was at the door?" asked Sasuke.

"Shino, Kiba, Chouji, and some other dudes who wanted to have a party here tomorrow so that they could welcome Naruto to the school. So what about me?" asked Neji.

"Just wondering why you are here. You seem like a 'not trouble maker,'" said Naruto.

"Ah. I'm here because my uncle doesn't want me in his house anymore since my father died. He said that I was too hateful of him. Which I'm not but I hate almost everyone else in the family," explained Neji.

"Oh… What about Gaara then?" inquired the blonde.

"Him? He's here because he's homicidal. He has a sister and a brother; his brother's here. He was a former insomniac and he liked to kill things. His father sent him here because of that. All that because his mother died and his father couldn't control him," sighed Neji.

"Jeez Neji do you stalk me or something?" asked Gaara; who had walked into the room unnoticed while Neji was talking.

"Ch. It wouldn't be that hard to since you share the same room as me," stated Neji.

"So you do?"

"No. I hear you sleep talk a lot…and I read your journal" mumbled Neji.

"What? I didn't hear that last part," said Naruto.

"Neji? Why have you been reading my journal?" asked Gaara; his right eye twitching slightly.

"Neji's a dead man," stated Sasuke. (Gee that was inspiring.)

"I was bored?" Neji said hesitantly; sweat dropping.

"When was this?" asked Gaara; whose right hand was clenching into a fist. He was twitching visibly and everyone was afraid. Very afraid.

"Um…last week?" Gaara hissed and jumped at Neji. He wrapped his hands around Neji's neck and pounded his friend's head against the floor. "How dare you read my journal! You purposely looked into it! And read my written thoughts!"

Sasuke and Naruto stood off to the side; afraid that Gaara would hurt them too. The red head continued to suffocate his 'dear' friend. As a last resort Neji raised his hand weakly and touched the younger's backside. Almost immediately the green eyed boy jumped off of him. He glared while blushing and then held out a hand. Neji immediately sucked in air; then looked at his friend who was holding out his hand.

The brunette sighed. They had been through this enough times already. It always started with Gaara trying to strangle him. Then the white-eyed boy would end up doing what he just did, and then the red head would stop and offer his hand. Gaara would then apologize and so would Neji and they'd go on with their daily lives. No one knew why, or how, they were friends, or why Gaara never killed Neji. It was just another mystery of the boy.

Neji took the offered hand and the two apologized. Naruto stood there looking confused, again. Sasuke just shrugged and said, "They do this every once in awhile. It becomes part of this life after awhile."

Naruto just nodded. Later they ended up finding out that Naruto liked Ramen so they had that for lunch and dinner.

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**Author's Notes: **I hope you like it. Please review.


	2. Bad luck

**Author's Notes: **Alright i redid the summary for you people.Happy? I bet not but...eh i'll shut up...Enjoy chapter two

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Chapter Two: the Bad Luck Curse of the Uchihas and Spinach Juice

Sasuke walked into the kitchen looking like something the cat dragged in. He was extremely irritated and tired. Naruto had kept him up all night with his snoring. Sasuke decided to get a pair of ear plugs to wear to sleep sometime today. Though he wasn't sure they could block out Naruto's snoring.

Neji was up, drinking coffee and reading. He looked extremely well considering Gaara had turned on the music full blast last night and had stayed up listening to it.

Sasuke made a mental note to ask Neji how he slept. Then the raven-haired boy went to the refrigerator to get something to eat. He accidentally grabbed something with the label 'GAARA' in big bold letters on it. Neji looked back and saw Sasuke drinking a bottle with the 'GAARA' label on it and yelled, "Sasuke! Don't drink it!"

Too late; Sasuke had already drunk it and he was now looking quite green. The obsidian eyed boy quickly ran to the bathroom to up chuck. Neji sweat dropped. What was he gonna tell Gaara?

At that moment, to everyone's convenience, Gaara showed up. The first thing the redhead saw was discarded bottle with his name on it. He looked up at the brunette and said, "Who drank it?"

"Sasuke," replied Neji. Gaara just smiled wickedly and picked up the bottle. "What was in it Gaara?

"Oh nothing… just some spinach juice," said Gaara calmly (**Kori**: Is there such a thing?) and smiled like a normal person (**Kori:** Holy crap he smiled like a normal person! Apocalypse!). "It should've woken Sasuke up though."

Neji just sighed. Another one of those Gaara moments that you had to enjoy. Especially when he's not trying to kill anyone.

Fortunately, Sasuke had reached the bathroom in time to throw up. Unfortunately he, like all Uchihas, had a curse of bad luck that followed him. Like right now for instance. After Sasuke was done throwing up he saw that the shower was on. He wanted to get out of there quickly so he flushed the toilet. And as you all know sometimes when you flush the toilet cold water comes out from the shower. Well, that's what happened. Naruto screamed at the cold water and looked from behind the shower curtain to see Sasuke turning the corner. The blonde decided to get revenge on the Uchiha…well, somehow he would.

When Sasuke returned to the kitchen he saw Gaara sitting calmly at the table listening to music and Neji reading his book again. Sasuke sweat dropped; Gaara was going to be mad at him.

"Um…Gaara?" said Sasuke hesitantly.

"Yeah?"

"Sorry about your bottle thing."

"No worries. It was a year old anyways."

This caused the black-haired boy to want to throw up again.

"Um…what was it?" asked Sasuke.

"Spinach juice."

Sasuke ran to bathroom again. This time Naruto wasn't in there so all was good for the Uchiha, well, at the moment. Gaara smiled wickedly when Sasuke was out of sight. Neji just sighed and said, "You love to torture don't you?"

"Well duh, Neji. At least I'm not torturing you," replied Gaara.

The brunette thought about this for awhile and came to a conclusion that Gaara didn't torture him. Neji was happy for that. He didn't have to suffer unless Gaara tried to strangle him again.

Inside his room, Naruto was plotting (or trying to) his revenge on Sasuke. He decided to enlist the help of Gaara. Which meant that the blonde had to come up with some guts…or use Neji as a shield. This could take some time… well the coming up with some guts part would.

Well it ended up that Naruto couldn't come up with enough guts to even say one word to Gaara besides 'um.' Which didn't help the blue-eyed boy at all. Instead he made a note to ask Neji to ask Gaara.

'Yeah, that'll work,' thought Naruto. Although, the blonde had yet to figure out that the brunette might say no. But hey did Naruto care? No, of course not! Well, that might be because he doesn't know. Anyways back to their day.

They all ended up going to class and doing that junk. Naruto got to meet fuzzy brows and their teachers Mr. Crazy (Gai), Mr. Can't think of a good excuse (Kakashi), Mr. Person who's cooler than Mr. Crazy (Asuma), and Ms. Person (Kurenai). He also met the principal person, Ms. Obaa-chan (Tsunade), when he got in trouble and he saw Mr. Iruka to get guidance for it. The blonde was then introduced to the computer technology teacher Mr. Pervert (Jiraiya). (A/N: Don't even ask.)

The day went by with Gaara threatening a couple of people… and teachers. Then Sasuke threw up again after he accidentally drank the bottle that Gaara had in his lunch (Don't ask how). Which was the Gray Puke. The normal chain of bad luck followed Sasuke around for the rest of the day. Sasuke walked under a ladder, saw a black cat, spilled salt, stepped on a crack, broke a mirror, ran through the woods and got stung by bees, ran into a pole, ran into a door, ran into a wall, got hit in the face with a football, spilled paint over his favorite shirt, and tripped and landed in some mud. Whereas his brother was watching it the entire time in amazement. He didn't have that kind of bad luck.

Neji read the entire day. Reading was his next favorite thing to do. His first was listening to music. Amazingly Neji passes all of his tests too. He's smart.

At the end of the day they Gaara was happy (because he tortured everyone), Neji was still reading, Naruto was freaked out by his teachers, and Sasuke looked like crap. When they got back to their dorm they had to clean up so that the other people could have a party here. They worried about food and then said "screw it." Hey, if they want food, they get it themselves.

Fast-forward to the party

Gaara had locked himself in his and Neji's room and Neji was currently trying to get the redhead to open it. But that was kinda hard considering Gaara had his headphones on and currently couldn't hear anything. Neji finally gave up and went to find a lock pick.

Naruto was greeted by practically everyone and he had many long discussions and became friends with all of them. He learned a lot about the school and about the history of its rumors. He learned that Itachi had a bad luck curse and so did Sasuke.

Sasuke, amazingly, did not have bad luck during the party. Well unless you count accidentally drinking another bottle of year-old spinach juice. His brother watched and shook his head. "Foolish little brother."

The party was…well, loud. They had the music on at almost the loudest. It didn't really matter to them since they were the only ones in this building besides a couple others who had been locked up in a closet for a night. They would be let out later…much later.

Neji finally got into his room and found Gaara asleep on his chair. He sighed; he was gonna strangle the redhead once he got in, but now it was hard too. Gaara was much more vicious if you woke him up from his sleep. Instead Neji picked up the sleeping boy and carried him to the lower bunk. Neji laid down his friend and pulled the covers over him. Neji and Gaara don't care which bunk they sleep on so they never established which bunk belonged to whom.

Neji sat on Gaara's computer and listened to music until he was tired. Then he crawled onto the top bunk and fell asleep. Those years of sleeping with Gaara's music on full blast were finally paying off.

Outside Itachi and Kisame were drunk. Mr. Hatake had found out about the party and promised not to tell anyone, only if he could stay. He's also dragged in Mr. Iruka. They were drunk too right now. In fact all the teachers were there except for the art teacher, Mr. Snake dude as Naruto called him, the guys had kicked him out long ago. The teachers also being drunk. Principal Tsunade had found out about the party and was now sitting on the couch drunk like there was no tomorrow and still drinking!

"Are they always this drunk at parties?" asked Naruto to no one in particular.

"Ch. Yeah," stated Kiba. Shikamaru cut in and said, "They always go to parties for beer and alcohol. Well, except Jiraiya. He goes for hot chicks, but there aren't any at this school."

Naruto shrugged and went off to find Sasuke. "SASUKEEEE! SASUKE! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU UCHIHA!"

"Godammit Naruto I'm right here!" shouted Sasuke from the hallway. Naruto ran towards Sasuke's voice and found the boy talking to Shino. Shino ended their conversation when he saw Naruto in the hallway. Sasuke then said, "Okay what do you want?"

"Uh…I forgot…" said Naruto. Sasuke popped a vein and was about to pummel the blonde. But Kiba 'accidentally' bumped into Naruto which made Naruto fall on Sasuke which made their lips contact. Then there was an awkward silence for the ten seconds that it took for them to figure out what happen and push away from each other. Naruto was gagging and so was Sasuke. Everyone burst into laughter at the sight except for Itachi. He just commented on what a cute couple they'd make and giggled like mad. Sasuke sighed, Itachi had had one too many beers.

Sasuke retreated to the kitchen for the remainder of the night even though it was a long night. He'd thought about going to Neji and Gaara's room, but he did not want to face a grumpy Gaara or a grumpy Neji. Too bad for Sasuke though, Neji would have let anyone who wanted to get away from the noise in. It was only when the person didn't have a reason that he yelled at them. Well back to Sasuke. Sasuke had finally mustered enough brain power to tell himself to go to his room. There he fell asleep on his bunk.

Naruto was currently…oh, how do you put it, stupid. He'd forgotten the entire kissing incident and was currently telling jokes to the people who found everything funny because they were drunk. They partied until well into the morning. Tsunade decided to cancel classes that day and was found sleeping in her office for the rest of the day. The teachers were also asleep in their rooms. In fact everyone in the building was asleep…well with the exception of Gaara, Neji, and Orochimaru.

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**Author's Note's: **You like? You hate it? Tell me in reviews!


	3. Snake dude

Chapter 3: Wandering School Halls and Beware the Evil Crazy Snake Dude

Gaara had woken up and the first thing he happened to see was Neji getting dressed right in front of him. The redhead blushed and hid back under the covers. He'd come to the fact that he liked Neji more than a friend and being the straight forward person that he is he just let himself admit that he was in love with Neji. (Don't you wish we could all be like Gaara?) Gaara had decided to wait under the covers until Neji went away but that didn't work.

Neji had seen Gaara wake up and found it weird that his friend would hide under the covers. Neji sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Gaara was so complicated. The brunette went over and pulled the covers off his friend and saw Gaara blushing. Is this for real? Gaara blushing? Now that's something you don't see everyday. However the redhead was soon glaring at Neji, but it didn't faze the brunette. He just sighed and ruffled the youngers hair.

Gaara then pushed off the covers and went to take a shower. Neji smiled in amusement as he watched his friend storm off. This was interesting, Gaara usually never does that unless he's angry and Neji hadn't seen him angry. Neji flopped back onto the bed to wait for the redhead to finish his shower. Neji had finished all of his books and was now lacking something to do. The brunette then decided he was kind of cold and pulled the covers over him and buried his face into the pillow, promptly falling asleep.

The brunette was soon awoken by a glaring Gaara. Gaara's glare had been so intense it had given Neji nightmares in his sleep. (Now that's a powerful glare there folks) Gaara sighed and poked Neji until the Hyuuga was awake. Neji stared at his friend until his brain finally processed what was happening, but his brain told him to keep staring.

Gaara was getting very irritated at Neji and that wasn't good. He decided to slap the boy until they figured out what to do. By the time they did figure out something to do, both of Neji's cheeks were red and he couldn't feel them.

The moment the two stepped out the door, they were greeted by a body on the floor. Gaara nudged it with his foot, and then rolled the person over. This person just happened to be Itachi, who slept like a stone until he had enough energy to get up. The other two quietly stepped over Itachi's body and looked around the living room. The living room was littered with sleeping people who probably would have hangover when they woke up. The two entered the kitchen and, amazingly, found it empty.

"So what now?" asked Neji after a moment of silence.

"I dunno. What do you wanna do?"

"I dunno. What do you wanna do?"

"Um….My PS2 is hooked up to the TV in our room."

"Cool let's play games then!"

"Okay…which game?"

"I dunno. Let's go look through the giant stack of games that my cousins and uncle sent me for my birthday!"

"Sure."

So Neji and Gaara went and played games for the remainder of the day.

Anyways, deep in a dark cavern under the school. Little mice scurried across a really really really dirty floor with some kind of goo coming out of it and moss coming out of the walls. This is where Orochimaru lived/worked. And this is why no one has ever wanted to take art class. The only reason it was still around is because Orochimaru had scared everyone into keeping it there.

Well anyways, Orochimaru was planning evil plans and his teacher assistant, Kabuto, was making paper airplanes.

"Dear assistant…What the hell are you doing!" asked Orochimaru.

"Making paper airplanes Orochimaru-sensei. I'm only here because you asked me to come," replied Kabuto in a bored voice.

"Yes, well… I must share my brilliant plan with you, dear assistant! We will hold Tsunade hostage and take over the school!" yelled Snake Dude.

"Snake Dude-sensei, that wouldn't work. Tsunade-sama would fire you and you'd get several injuries from it," stated the oh-so-smart Kabuto.

"Dangit. Oh well, time to make up a new plan. You can go now dear assistant," said Orochimaru. Kabuto sighed at the old man. He was too crazy sometimes. Then he left to do something.

Okay let's skip to the next week since I have nothing else to write about

Sasuke finally remembered to ask Neji about the sleeping thing and this is how their conversation went:

"Hey Neji?"

"Yeah?"

"How do you sleep with Gaara's music on full blast?"

"I don't know Sasuke… I've known him for a long time and a third of that time I couldn't sleep. I just got used to it."

"Oh…"

"Is this about Naruto's snoring?"

"Yeah. How did you know?"

"Cause I'm all knowing and he snores loud enough that you can hear it across the apartment when Gaara's music is off."

"Is he really that loud?" Sasuke sweatdropped at the statement from said brunette.

"Yes. My advice is to get ear plugs. Or listen to music at night. That works too."

"Okay… just out of curiosity but how'd you sleep for those first few days of living with Gaara?"

"I didn't. I stayed up with him because he was still an insomniac. Don't get me wrong he still is a partial insomniac. He just sleeps every other night."

"Is that why he's always cranky?"

"Nah…That's because the entire world pisses him off."

Then Gaara came in while Neji was saying the above line. "Neji, the whole world does not piss me off… Only 99.7 of it does." (The .3 is Neji, sand, and his computer)

"Whatever you say Gaara."

And that was their discussion. Of course Naruto still has to come up with a plan for revenge. Which means he had to ask Neji to ask Gaara. Which was still hard even with Neji. Maybe he could get Kiba to do it.

"Maybe I could get Kiba to do it…" (Hey I just said that! **Naruto:** So? Who cares? A/N: Why you little fights with Naruto)

"Get me to do what?"

"Ask Gaara if he would help me get revenge on Sasuke."

"Oh. Dude. You're a crazy person to even ask Gaara such a thing. Although, I would be willing to ask Neji to ask Gaara for you…well for a price."

"How much?"

"1000 yen."

"Deal. Here's 1000 yen."

And so went Naruto's little plan. Of course it would be awhile before it was actually put into action. Kiba didn't have any classes with Neji until sixth period which was a long ways away. Naruto, however didn't know that and annoyed the heck out of Kiba. But Kiba, being the almost cool person that he is, let his patience go at a steady pace. After all, he had gotten 1000 yen out of this.

Finally Kiba was in the accursed sixth period. This was science and his lab partner just happened to be Shino. Which was scary for the almost cool person. Well, as usual Shino amazed everyone with his ability to do everything with 100 accuracy. Neji, who sat next to them with his lab partner Gaara, finally said, "Okay Kiba, if you're going to ask me something ask it now otherwise you'll never be able to reach me until tomorrow."

"What the hell Hyuuga! How did you know!"

"Neji's all seeing/knowing remember?" reminded Shino.

"Kiba don't yell," ordered Gaara and continued on his lab work.

"Fine. Naruto wanted me to ask you to ask Gaara: Can you help me get revenge on Sasuke?" said Kiba.

"Well Gaara?" Neji shot a questioning look at Gaara and the redhead sighed and agreed to do it. Hey, even if he got caught helping Naruto; it's not like anyone would dare to interrogate him. Kiba was glad that he hadn't gotten hurt/threatened by the redhead. Neji sighed. Gaara always loves getting revenge on other people.

A little later

Naruto and Gaara, along with Neji, met under a tree after school. Sasuke had to go to some kind of class after school on certain days, so the three of them, being the good friends that they are, decided to wait. Gaara and Naruto were currently discussing stuff and Neji… well Neji was sleeping. He'd lost sleep when Gaara decided to become an insomniac again for a few days.

"So Naruto, first of all what is your reason for revenge?" asked Gaara.

"Sasuke flushed the toilet while I was in the shower and cold water came out," answered Naruto.

"Anything else?"

"He kissed me!"

"He did? I must have been asleep… accursed sleeping. That could have been potential blackmail! So, do you have any idea on how you want to plan this revenge/ prank/ whatever you call it?"

"Um… well I wanted to embarrass him a whole lot."

"Would that include pain or—ow!" at that moment Neji hit Gaara on the head. The redhead knew the other was somehow listening while sleeping. "Goddamit Neji. Fine I won't ask that question. Jeez stupid narcissist."

Neji whacked Gaara again. "Ow! What was that for!" Gaara sighed. "Fine. How badly would you like to embarrass him?"

"Very badly?"

"Good Naruto! You're learning to be evil." Gaara was going to duck just in case Neji's subconscious decided to hit him again. But Neji's subconscious had decided that that was better than the other things the redhead had said. "Hm…I'll need to think for awhile. You got any suggestions?"

"You could use the bad luck curse that he has to your advantage…whoa I didn't think I knew that word!"

_Stupid blondes,_ (No offense to any of you who are . ) thought Gaara. "Okay… anything else?"

"Uhhhh… could it involve the color pink?"

"Sure… it'll involve pink paint… well, I think we're done here… now go do something else." Naruto nodded vigorously and left to go find ramen.

Gaara sighed and rested his head against the tree. He knew it was a bad idea to go insomniac for a week. Neji, who had been sleeping against the tree next to Gaara, moved around a bit causing the redhead to look toward his friend. Neji leaned towards Gaara, which caused his head to land gently on the other's shoulder. The brunette sighed contentedly and stayed where he was. Gaara blushed lightly and smiled inwardly. He pulled out one of Neji's books and read it. (A/N: Pretend that they are in a secluded area with no one around.)

When Sasuke was done with his class type thing

Sasuke stood outside looking for his friends. He spotted Naruto eating ramen and went up to him. "Hey Naruto where are Neji and Gaara?"

"Fhey're fomefwhere," answered Naruto with his mouth full. Sasuke sweat dropped at this and decided to go look for the other two.

at that place

Neji had just woken up. He had found himself leaning on Gaara's shoulder and was surprised when Gaara hadn't yelled at him. Of course Gaara said, "You mention this to anyone and I will kill you."

The brunette just nodded and smiled at his friend. He knew Gaara would come through with that threat if he did tell anyone. They got up and left the secluded area. On their way back they had an argument. It went like this:

"Neji, you hit me in your sleep!"

"Gaara that was an accident already!"

"You hit me twice!"

"It's not my fault! It's my subconscious's fault!"

"It's still your fault!"

"Why!"

"Cause it's your subconscious!"

Neji sighed loudly, "Well it's not like I had any control over it! Besides, you used to kill things when I was asleep!"

"So it's my fault that I couldn't keep from my homicidal ways!"

"I never said that!"

"Well it's still the same thing!" By then the entire school could hear them and they were currently hiding.

"No it's not! I never accused you of anything! Okay… I accused you of killing things while I was asleep."

"I did not!"

"Yes you did! Well then explain how one day they found twelve dead snakes and then the next day they found 20 dead gerbils!"

"I only killed the snakes! I did not kill the gerbils!"

"Well then who killed the gerbils!"

"How the hell should I know!"

"I don't know! You tell me!" Of course Sasuke and Naruto had found them by then. They walked behind their roommates and stared at them incredulously.

"Maybe it was the crazy art teacher!"

"Well… no wait, you've got a point."

"I win!"

"Damn you," growled Neji. Gaara snickered at his friend's sudden change in attitude.

"Well jeez Neji, you don't have to be such a butthead about it." Neji stared at his friend and shook his head. Yep, Gaara was definitely crazy.

"Right if you two are done now… Would you please unlock the door?" asked Sasuke. The two gave him looks that said 'what the hell are you talking about.' "Well I don't have the keys! I thought you did!"

"I thought you had them Uchiha!" yelled Gaara. "It's not like anyone would ever trust me with the keys…"

"That's true. I don't have them," stated Neji.

"No wait! I have the keys!" Naruto stood there triumphantly.

"Great dumbass! Open the door already!" shouted Gaara.

"Wait… nevermind… these are my house keys to my other home…" Sasuke and Gaara looked like they were going to kill the poor blonde. Neji sighed and stepped between them.

"Guys. I know how to pick a lock remember?"

"Oh yeah…" replied Gaara and Sasuke at the same time. They spent the next couple of minutes watching Neji pick a lock with a wire. The brunette finally got the door open and all four went in.

"Where'd you learn how to do that Neji?" asked Sasuke.

"Another thing that's useful when you live with Gaara. He has a tendency to lock the door when he finds it suitable. You can't get in because he usually has his music on full blast so he can't hear you. I had to sleep on the couch once because I couldn't get into our room," explained Neji.

"Neji, you wouldn't be able to sleep on the couch. Kankuro sleeps there and he snores louder than Naruto," said Gaara.

"I slept somewhere."

"You were on the roof when I woke up."

"Huh... That's right isn't it?"

"Yes, Neji."

Sasuke cut in to their conversation before it went somewhere bad and evil, "Can we all behave like normal human being for once?"

"No," said the other three in unison.

"I live with freaks." Sasuke sighed and went off to go scream in a pillow.

"So… what now?" asked Naruto.

"I have to go devise an evil scheme while doing my homework and Neji still has do his. C'mon Neji let's go help me with my homework!" Gaara's laugh had a wicked little tone that made Neji a little frightened. Teaching Gaara was like teaching a rock to change shape. It never worked, unless you drove something through it, but would you do that to Gaara? No? I didn't think so.

"Hmm… I'll go see if Kankuro wants to go for ramen… maybe Itachi too…" So Naruto went off to find Kankuro and Itachi and other random people.


	4. Coffee is Good

Chapter 4: Fighting off Boredom and Gaara's Magical Coffee

_Next day at 4 am…_

Sasuke woke up to some very loud noises in the kitchen. His instincts told him to not go in there, but his brain was telling him to go in to see what was going on. Sasuke decided to follow his brain since his instincts weren't that sharp. Then again neither was his brain, it was too damn early. Sasuke walked in and saw a gigantic mess of wood and loads of pink paint. The black haired boy dimly registered that there were two people there. He just shrugged and went back to his room and put his earplugs in.

_In the Kitchen_

"Y'know, we're lucky that it's too early for Sasuke to register anything," stated Gaara as he watched Sasuke disappear down the corridor.

"Shut up, you owe me three weeks of sleep for doing this," said a very cranky Neji.

"How do you work at four in the morning?" asked Gaara.

"That's what I should be asking you. But no you just shoved coffee at me and told me to help you do the stupid prank."

"No… I glared at you until you woke up, splashed water in your face to make sure you were semi awake, then I slapped you, and then I shoved coffee in front of your face and told you to help me with the stupid prank."

Neji glared at Gaara and said, "…shut up. That slap hurt, that glare gave me nightmares, that water was ice cold, and the coffee… the coffee was good. Coffee… the only thing you're actually good at making."

"You would know."

"I should, considering you tried to make breakfast one time. The coffee was the only good thing."

"… You are so addicted to that stuff."

"So what? It was the only thing that kept me alive when you were an insomniac… by the way where'd you get the paint?"

"… The Place."

"… I didn't think you were that crazy. No one goes in there except for Kabuto."

"I didn't go in there, Neji. I'm not that crazy, or stupid. I asked Kabuto to get me some paint."

"… oh… How'd you do that?"

"…. My reputation…"

"Ah yes. You're famous reputation which got the entire school afraid of you."

"And I asked nicely and Kabuto said he didn't have anything better to do so he went and got me three different shades of pink."

"… Why'd he get three different shades of pink?"

"… I asked him too just in case."

"… wonderful… I can't wait to see what you do with the other two shades."

"I'm gonna stick all of your clothes in the paint and it will dye all of your clothes pink!"

"…" Neji glared at Gaara.

"Oh jeez Neji. I'm not gonna dye your clothes pink… I'm gonna dye Sasuke and Naruto's clothes pink! Then I'm gonna tell Itachi to give me ribbons because Itachi has a lot of fancy ribbons that his fangirls give him and I'm gonna tie bunches of ribbons in their hair!" explained Gaara, talking like a five year old going to his favorite amusement park. Neji just sweat dropped.

"… How are you going to tie ribbons? I didn't think you knew how to do that."

"Hinata and Hanabi showed me when I went over to your house and they decided to tie your hair up because they felt like it so that when they showed me how to tie a bow. And I'm going to practice on your hair while you try to explain my homework to me."

"At least you'll be… learning something I guess." Gaara smiled and continued to work on his little pra- I mean project. Neji shook his head and finished up doing whatever he was doing.

_Later that morning…_

"… Where are Gaara and Neji?" asked Sasuke sleepily. He'd walked in this morning and hadn't seen Neji drinking his usual coffee and suspected something. Naruto shrugged. "They told me they had something to do."

You're probably thinking, Naruto's just not telling Sasuke because the prank is targeting Sasuke. Well, your wrong. Neither of the two had told Naruto a single thing. They'd just gone out that morning to do… something, it's a secret.

"…" Sasuke was still sleepy.

"There's leftover coffee in the pot. I dunno who made it though."

"I'll try it if you try it."

"… Sure… I need coffee and the school's coffee tastes like puke." So they drank the coffee which as you can make out was leftover from early in the morning when Gaara tried to get Neji to wake up.

"… Wow… good coffee…" said Sasuke, still sleepily. The black haired boy looked at Naruto and found the blonde chugging his coffee like there was no tomorrow. The two ended up fighting for the last bit of coffee and, like all those other times, at that very moment Gaara and Neji walked in.

"I want more coffee Gaara…" Neji was still sleepy and now he was kind of whiney too.

"For the last time Neji, I left some in the-…" Gaara stared at Sasuke and Naruto, who were still fighting. Neji was staring too. Then he saw the empty coffee pot and Neji got mad. Gaara just stepped away from his best friend, knowing that without coffee Neji could get very very aggressive and angry.

Naruto and Sasuke stopped as soon as they felt a glare just as powerful as Gaara's. They gulped when they saw a very pissed Neji.

"H-hi Neji. Uh… What's up?" asked a very nervous Naruto. Neji continued to glare at him. Neji almost got close enough to attack, but against his better judgment Gaara held his friend back.

"… Neji. I can make more. You know that right?"

Neji huffed and said, "Coffee. Now."

Gaara smiled and made more coffee. Neji came up behind him and sniffed the scent of coffee… and Gaara. "Neji... go wait somewhere else."

Neji just grumbled and plopped down at the table. He fell asleep but was immediately awoken by the scent of coffee right in front of his nose. He grabbed the cup and began to sip it.

"… You are so addicted Neji," sighed Gaara.

"… Coffee good…" replied Neji. Gaara grinned and handed cups of coffee to Naruto and Sasuke.

"… How'd you get good at making coffee?" asked Naruto.

"… I have no idea. I tried making breakfast this one time and I accidentally put some stuff in the coffee and ever since Neji's been addicted to it so I make it every morning for him. Hear that Neji? Just for you! So don't complain about not being special!"

"… As long as you keep making coffee…" replied Neji. Naruto stared at them for awhile. They had such an awkward relationship. One minute they would be fighting, the next they'd be the best of friends and the minute after that they would be back to slapping each other in the face.

When Neji finally finished drinking his coffee the two of them went off again. Naruto and Sasuke were left to fend off boredom by themselves.

"So… what do you wanna do?" asked Naruto.

"I dunno. What do you wanna do?"

"I dunno! That's why I asked you!"

"Well then that's why I asked you too!"

"What? Do you think I'm smart enough to answer that question!"

"I don't know! What makes you think I have the brain power this early in the morning to answer that question!"

"Maybe it's because you're smarter than me!"

"How would you know!"

"You have straight A's, well except for that B+ in History."

"… I hate that B+… It's evil…" This is Naruto's face  O.o.

"Oooookay… Sasu-chan is scaring me now…"

"Sasu-chan? Why the heck did you nickname me that!"

"I dunno. I like it so whether you like it or not I'm going to call you Sasu-chan."

"… Right. Then I'm going to call you Naruto."

"You're no fun Suke."

"And you're too creative!"

"Am not."

"… Then why are you taking Art?"

"… I didn't think it would be so bad!"

Sasuke's face  O.O. "HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW! It's called the forbidden place in the brochure!"

"Oh… No it isn't!" Naruto pulled out the brochure he got. He points to a place where forbidden place is crossed out and written underneath it is Paradise. "See? It says Art is a Paradise."

"…. Naruto someone crossed out forbidden place with black pen and wrote paradise in instead."

"They did? … Huh! They did!" Sasuke shook his head and groaned.

"You are so stupid."

"See? I told you I was stupid!"

"… fine we'll agree on that much."

"And we'll agree that you are smarter than me!"

"If it will get you off my back, fine."

"… So … what do you wanna do now?"

"I dunno. What do you wanna do?"

And so the conversation repeated itself over and over and over, until they finally were knocked out by some random flying object. Who it was thrown by, we may never know…


	5. Morons, Maniacs, and Sane People

Chapter Five: Conversations between Morons, Maniacs, and Sane People

"So where were you and Gaara yesterday Neji?" asked Sasuke.

"… Asking, or threatening, people to do some favors for us…" replied Neji. Today was another day off; Gaara had gone to get stuff for one of his evil little plots. Naruto was out eating ramen with Kiba, Chouji, and Shikamaru. Neji and Sasuke were back at the dorm doing nothing.

"…Why didn't you go with Gaara?" asked Sasuke.

"I dunno. I woulda gone with him but he went really early and apparently he didn't want to wake me up." The inner Neji was yelling at him, _'you just wanted to sleep in this morning! Gaara so tried to wake you up!'_

"Shut up Inner Neji…" said Neji to himself. Sasuke looked at the Hyuuga strangely. Neji's crossed over to the crazy side. Neji just looked up at Sasuke sleepily. "I'm going back to bed…"

Sasuke nodded and watched Neji go back to his room. Now what? Well there were a couple of things the Uchiha could do:

1. Visit Itachi (Gods no)

2. Walk around outside of the school grounds (Rabid fangirls)

3. Or three sit here and ponder about other things to do.

Well he decided that he could do all three in the period of 9 hours. He first went to Itachi, since it was more sensible than going around and being chased by rabid fangirls. Itachi was a little TOO happy to see him.

"Ah my foolish little brother how are you?" asked Itachi hugging the life out of his little brother.

"Just. Great. Now. ITACHI! I can't breathe…" said Sasuke in between breaths. His older brother gasped and let go of him.

"Omygod like I'm so so so so sorry!" Sasuke was really creeped out now but then he realized something.

"You lost a bet with Kankuro didn't you!"

"… Yeah, I had to hug the life out of the next person that came through the door and act like a really preppy chick. Now shut up."

"There's the jerk ass brother that I know!" His brother rolled his eyes and peeked around the hallway.

"Kisame's not there is he?"

"…No. Why would Kisame, of all people, be following me?" asked Sasuke. Itachi just shrugged and let his brother in. The interior of the place wasn't much better than their place. It was cluttered, like theirs, and it was messy. But at least theirs didn't have an awful stench to it.

"Oh god Itachi! What the hell died this time!" Itachi shrugged.

"Dunno it's probably coming from Kisame and Kankuro's room."

The occupants of this dorm were Itachi, Kisame, Kankuro, and Kabuto. One side of the place was extremely messy and the other side looked like it was cleaned every day by a maid who got into every single little crack and then cleaned the stuff so that even the carpet shined with an unnatural glow along with everything else.

"So, Sasuke why are you here?" asked Itachi.

"Boredom and I don't want to leave school because crazy girls will chase me around all day."

"… Oh that reminds me tell Gaara I have some more ribbons for him if he needs any."

Sasuke nodded with a sweat drop. "Um… I'm probably going to regret this later but why does Gaara need ribbons?"

"Huh? Oh he told me not to tell anyone his plan. I just can't wait to see it in action!" piped an extremely excited Itachi. Just then there was a knock at the door. Itachi opened the door and lo and behold there was Gaara! And Neji. Gaara, at some point of time decided to drag Neji out of bed.

"Konnichiwa 'tachi," greeted Gaara.

"Gaara-chan!" Itachi glomped Gaara. Gaara sweat dropped.

"Do you have anymore ribbons? Neji decided to be a butt and burn some of them."

"Oh of course I do! I still have a closet full!" Itachi went and opened a door and out came mountains and mountains of ribbons. Puffy ribbons, skinny ribbons, green ribbons, sparkly ribbons, flowery ribbons, ribbons with rude words on them, freakishly big ribbons, ribbons that were on a special diet made just for ribbons, pretty much any type of ribbon you could ever come up with, including several others that you never would come up with.

Gaara left a bag in Neji's hands and went into the ribbon mountain. Then the ribbons came flying. Gaara chose a lot of them and tossed them into the bag. Amazingly all of them landed in the bag and when it's that perfect, you know that they'd already done something like this a couple of times over.

Gaara popped his head out. He held out a ribbon with pictures of himself on it.

"What the hell?" questioned Gaara. Neji saw the ribbon and took it from Gaara. The redhead stared at his friend with a questioning look.

"… I honestly don't know where I got that Gaara-chan," replied Itachi.

Gaara shrugged and dove back into the ribbons. Neji however was currently hugging the ribbon with Gaara on it. The green-eyed boy came out a couple more times holding different ribbons. One with bunnies killing other bunnies, one with something very very bad written on it, one where the address of a girl named Haruno Sakura was written on it and a picture was on it too, another where a girl named Yamanaka Ino was killing Sakura and one with Neji's cousin and her sister on it. Neji was completely mystified by that one.

"Why do you have these Itachi?' asked Gaara.

Itachi shrugged. "I was supposed to give those to Sasuke and Neji. I wasn't about to give it to Suke here but I was going to give Neji that one."

"WHAT'S UP WITH THAT NAME!" cried a very frustrated Suke.

"I dunno Naru-chan came up with it and it's just so adorable Suke!" cried Itachi and he huggled his pissed brother.

Gaara and Neji stared for awhile and then, "Oh, we didn't see you there Suke."

Sasuke felt like crying. When Gaara and Neji use nicknames that means it's just about infested the entire school. Probably when they went back to class, even the teachers would call him Suke-kun.

"Well, we're done Itachi," stated Gaara, pointing to a very large bag on top of Neji.

"Oh thanks for getting rid of some of them. Take care."

"No prob. Neji's probably gonna burn most of them tonight seeya."

Gaara and a squished Neji left for who knows where. Sasuke suddenly questioned how the two would fit that gigantic bag in their dorm. Sasuke really felt like crying. "I'm probably gonna have to sleep on the floor."

"Ne? Why?" asked a voice that belonged to no one else but Kankuro! Yay Kankuro! (Actually I'm not a big fan of his)

"Oh, it's nothing. Hey Kankuro," greeted Sasuke.

"I thought I heard my brother out here with his boyfriend," stated Kankuro.

"I'm amazed you could hear anything with your music on so loud Kankuro," stated Itachi. "You know he's gonna find out that you're spreading rumors that Neji is his boyfriend."

"Yeah I know. But hey don't you think they're just a little TOO close?"

Sasuke was going through one of those long thought processes where he went over all of those Gaara and Neji times. He went over the memories twice over and then he realized something. THEY WERE TOO CLOSE!

Itachi laughed at Sasuke's face  O.O. And then Sasuke was mystified by his brother's laughter. And then a large bucket of pink paint fell off the wall and landed on Kankuro.

"… Damn him... how did he know!" yelled Kankuro.

A distant voice replied, "DON'T UNDERESTIMATE NEJI'S ALL KNOWING INTELLIGENCE KANKURO! IT WILL BE THE DEATH OF YOU…. Well actually I'm going to kill you! ... Thank god for megaphones. Oh this is still on? Oops."

"What the-! How the hell did he hear me?" asked Kankuro to no one in particular.

"He didn't Kankuro. Neji-kun is the all seeing/knowing," replied Itachi.

"He knows EVERYTHING!" yelled an extremely paranoid Kiba who happened to run by at that exact moment. The three looked to see a crazed Shino chasing him around with a spider and a laughing/yelling Naruto run after them. Shikamaru lazily walked by.

"Shino's threatening Kiba with bugs and he just happened to hear your conversation and decided to yell that and Naruto is high off of ramen. This is so bothersome…" said Shikamaru and he continued to walk on.

"… Did you just see anything?" asked Sasuke.

"No."

"Nope."

"Good cause neither did I."

A few hours later Sasuke left his brother's dorm and went to walk outside of the school gates. But as fate would have it, he didn't get that far before rabid and psychotic fangirls started chasing him. He ran back towards the school and went behind the gates. Then he ran for the closest building and caught his breath there. Several people passed him, smirking.

"Looks like more rabid fangirls are after Suke, Zaku," commented Dosu.

"Y'know that's when you're glad you don't have legions and legions of rabid fans because they are a pain in the ass," stated Zaku and he and Dosu went off to a place in a place in a place in a place in the universe.

Sasuke decided that today was one of the weirdest days in his entire life. Well, next to that day when- oh wait, that's not part of the story huh? Oh well, you can hear it some other time. Sasuke dusted himself off and went back to his dorm. Once he got there he opened the door hesitantly, expecting a large bag of ribbons to roll over him. To his surprise there wasn't any sign that an oversized bag of cloth had passed through the dorm.

"… Whoa... freaky," said Sasuke. It was also eerily quiet, usually Gaara's music would still be on and way too loud for anyone to handle. Sasuke walked into his room and didn't see anything particularly wrong with it. But you couldn't really tell since Naruto's stuff was littered everywhere.

Now, here's where you think that Gaara's evil little plot was going to work, but no. It was just that, Neji had turned off Gaara's computer that morning since he needed sleep, Naruto wasn't around to cause any noise, and Gaara wasn't here to scream death threats at everyone and get into arguments with Neji.

Sasuke came to a few conclusions:

1. Gaara, Neji, and Naruto weren't back yet.

2. The power was cut off

3. The apocalypse was coming,

4. This was a dream

5. Orochimaru, or Itachi, had either murdered or kidnapped everyone.

6. And… well there is no sixth.

Then the Uchiha decided today he was just being really really paranoid. Twice as paranoid as he usually was. While he was sitting there, deciding if he really was twice as paranoid as he usually was, Shino and Shikamaru came in, hauling a knocked out Naruto. Sasuke just stared at them with the 'what-the-hell-happened-to-him' look.

"We had to knock him out. He was going to force us to go with him back to the ramen place," said Shino in his usual monotone voice.

"Then where's Kiba and Chouji?" asked Sasuke.

"…We're still trying to find Inuzuka and Chouji's probably back at the dorm eating his face off," replied Shikamaru. At that moment Kiba tried to creep past the door.

"There's Kiba!" yelled Naruto, sounding slightly crazy, and then he went back to being knocked out. Shino and Shikamaru looked towards the door just in time to see Akamaru trot by. Kiba then began to run like mad and Shino went to chase him with bugs again. Shikamaru took his time in getting out. After all that was done, Naruto was still knocked out so the Uchiha child decided to take a nap.

* * *

You all made me feel guilty, so I'm going to upload two chapters. Happy? 


	6. Confessions of Two Best Friends

Chapter Six: Neji Criticizes Spongebob and Confessions of Two Best Friends

_Later…_

Sasuke woke up from his 30 minute nap, Naruto was still knocked out, and Neji and Gaara were back from wherever. The two were currently watching (insert dramatic music) SpongeBob Squarepants!

"… This is so stupid Gaara!"

"So what Neji? It's just a cartoon and- Stay still!"

"How the heck do they have water underwater! That makes no sense!"

"Neji, it's a cartoon; it doesn't have to make sense."

Unfortunately for Gaara, Neji did not hear him. "And why the heck are the clouds flowers! I don't see flowers every time I go underwater!"

"Neji."

"And what exactly is Squidward! A squid or an octopus!"

"Neji!"

"How the heck does Mr. Krabs have a WHALE for a daughter! A crab and another animal cannot have a whale!"

"NEJI!"

"WHAT!"

"STOP MOVING! YOU'RE MAKING THIS HARDER THAN IT SHOULD BE!"

"Well I'm so sorry that you decided to tie bows in my hair while I criticize things! …" Gaara was about ready to smack Neji across the head.

"Why does Plankton have a computer wife! Wouldn't Sandy run out of oxygen during the winter? Wouldn't the water pressure crush that stupid dome?"

"… I have no idea Neji…"

"If they live in water then why can't they swim or fly or whatever you would call it? How the heck does Patrick eat if he doesn't have any money? Don't you think that Spongebob seems a little gay?"

"Neji… don't you think that you seem a little gay?"

"… so what if I am?" Gaara was a little freaked out.

"Are you saying you're gay?"

"… yes." Neji said that with a straight face.

"Great. I'm gay too, I'm glad we finally decided to be honest to each other. Remind me later to kick Kankuro's ass."

"Alright… Gaara… one more thing, you have a crush on me don't you?"

"… Y-yeah." Gaara was like this and blushing> O.O

"Great…" (they're very straight forward with each other aren't they?)

"… Are we still friends?"

"…" A moment passed then Neji grabbed Gaara and kissed him. Sasuke walked in at that moment. These were the thoughts going through his head> _… DAMN YOU KANKURO! YOU WERE RIGHT!_

Then Sasuke decided he needed more rest and that they needed more privacy so he went back to his room to sleep.

The rest of that day was awkward for Sasuke, he was still freaked out. Neji and Gaara were a tiny bit closer than usual and Naruto was still knocked out.

_Ok Next Day…_

Naruto finally woke up the next day at 2 am, when everyone else was still asleep. He didn't know what time it was and he didn't look out of any of the windows to see what time it was. Instead he wanted to know what he had missed. He tried to wake Sasuke up but Sasuke had locked the door to their room.

"DAMN YOU SASUKE!" Amazingly no one heard him. So he decided to go and ask Neji to pick a lock. Of course Naruto didn't know that Neji and Gaara were together so he wouldn't have guessed that he would find them sleeping in the same bed; too close for anyone sane to not say they weren't gay. Naruto stood there staring, not quite processing the information and then his brain finally came to a conclusion. Sasuke had drugged Neji and Gaara and stuck them on the same bed to get revenge and blackmail. Naruto is not exactly smart so he's not exactly sane so he couldn't figure out that Neji and Gaara were together.

"Stupid Sasuke…"

At that tiny little whisper Gaara woke up. He was really quite used to listening for quiet sounds he wasn't too familiar with, especially after Kankuro tried to play a prank on him. The red head sat up and looked in Naruto's direction. He yawned; taking note that Neji's arm was still wrapped around his waist.

"… You're finally awake?" asked Gaara sleepily.

"Yup!"

"Oh ok. Good night," said Gaara and he crawled back under the sheets and further into Neji's embrace. Naruto just stared, dumbfounded. Then his brain went and processed it all over again and this time it came up with a different conclusion: Gaara and Neji are together… which means they're gay. That's when Naruto had a little freak attack. He ran around in circles and then went to pound on Sasuke's door. This time Sasuke opened the door.

"What do you want at this hour Naruto?" asked Sasuke.

"Gaara and and Neji and bed and and sleeping and they and yeah."

"… I know they're gay. I saw them make out on the couch."

"THEY WHAT!" yelled Naruto.

"SHUT UP NARUTO!" shouted Neji and Gaara and they went back to sleep.

"Baka. If you'd woken up earlier you would have known."

"Yeah b-but it's freaky!"

"12 hours of processing it and you'll be fine. Jeez I didn't think you were such a close minded person!"

"I am open minded! It's just kinda freaky for the first 8 hours!"

"I know that, I already went through it. But you know what's even freakier? Itachi wearing a frilly pink dress with pink bows in his hair, singing the Barbie song as the girl and Kisame singing the Ken part. Process that idiot."

"… WHOA FREAKY FREAKY FREAKY!"

Ok so Naruto yelled that right? Yes? So you know what happens? If you guessed very grumpy and pissed roommates attack Naruto and beat the living shit out of him then you win! What you win I have no idea but I'll give you an imaginary bag of ribbons that cause sparkly, neon, colorful, strange flames. They're also great for parties and bonfires! (Warning: This author is not responsible for any damaged or destroyed or traumatized people, animals or furniture.)

_At 8am in school…_

Somehow everyone in the school found out Neji and Gaara were together. Some were freaked, some were scared, and some were freaked and scared while others were indifferent. But only one person had the nerve to call them cute, and that person was none other than… Itachi!

"You two make such a cute couple!" cried Itachi in a very very hyper yaoi fangirl way. Neji and Gaara put up with him and only him because he had given them ribbons and he was … well Itachi.

"We know Itachi… you've been screaming that for the past… how long was it?" asked Gaara.

"… guessing from the fact that the news reached Itachi long before the rest of the school, besides Naruto and Sasuke, I'd say about 2:30 am… so that means… a good five and a half hours," replied Neji. Gaara just shook his head.

"How the heck did you find out anyways?"

Itachi stood there in deep thought, trying to remember. Then he did the little fist thing that you do when you figure something out.

"Kankuro put a camera in you room to see if you two would actually get together and I stayed up watching it cause I'm a freak and since you did I got $200 out of the bets I made! So did Kabuto!" yelled an overexcited Itachi.

"… I'm going to kill him…" growled Gaara.

"Who? Itachi or Kankuro?" asked Neji.

"…. My dumbass brother…"

"Oh… well you'll have to wait until after school…" Both Gaara and Neji were tired because early this morning they'd been woken up twice (three in Gaara's case) by the same person and then Itachi had found out thirty minutes later and had called them saying how cute and adorable they were and then the crazy Uchiha had gone over to their apartment to glomp and say they were such a cute couple over and over and squeal like an over obsessed but not rabid fangirl. Then came the mysterious part: they got a bunch of phone calls from Neji's cousins, Neji's uncle, Neji's family, Neji's dead father (Whoa… how'd that happen), Gaara's sister, Gaara's father, Gaara's dead mother and… crazy over-obsessed fangirls.

"…. I can't believe your dad called…"

"Oh yeah well I can't believe your mom called."

"… stupid psychics."

"… old hags…"

"How the heck did they find out?"

They both sat there pondering, secretly Neji already knew the answer but it was locked away in his subconscious. Gaara finally came to a conclusion though, "… Kankuro… and there's probably a video camera hidden somewhere within the vicinity that watching us and our parents souls/ghosts are probably watching us too..."

"… When did you start using those really big words?"

"When I'm tired I'm either cranky or smart and sane."

"Uh huh… Why didn't you make more coffee?" Gaara just stared at Neji; knowing very well that both of them wanted at this very moment to either be slamming their heads into doors or asleep in their room. The latter probably was best but that slamming into doors thing was looking real good. Thus while they were having that little moment, Itachi was still talking.

"Ne Itachi… would you please be quiet...I'm starting to get a headache," stated the person who was none other than Kabuto!

"Okay! Now I'm going to go bother Kisame!" Gaara and Neji resisted the urge to cheer. Gaara and Neji looked towards Kabuto and he smiled back at them.

Class that day was very… awkward for some people. Mostly the ones who shared a class with either Neji or Gaara. The ones who had classes with both were extremely frightened. Kiba was freaked out still, Shikamaru didn't really care, and Shino was his usual monotone, no expression self. Kankuro feared his existence, Kabuto was the same person he was yesterday, Kisame was annoyed, the teachers were kinda freaked, Tsunade was still staring, Dosu and Zaku were themselves if not a little frightened, and Naruto and Sasuke had to endure the never ending stream of questions.

"The questions! Will they never cease!" cried Naruto over dramatically.

"Shut up Naruto. I already have a headache," replied Sasuke.

"It's not my fault that Suke-chan has a headache…"

"Yes it is… stop calling me that."

"How is it my fault Suke-baka!"

"You're the one who keeps on yelling!"

"Why don't you just take some Advil or somethin'?"

"… I'm not allowed to take pain relievers…"

"What! Why!"

"Parents say that I'm allergic to them…" Sasuke shrugged and Naruto did this> O.O

"How can you be allergic to pain relievers?"

"I dunno… ask Itachi… He's allergic to Bengay, Benidril, anything that starts with ben and is a medicine."

"Your family is weird Suke."

"No actually they're pretty sane. I think it's just Itachi… and maybe a little me but mostly Itachi."

"Is Itachi allergic to anything else?"

"…. Hmmm… He's allergic to... Colgate."

"The tooth paste?"

"Yeah…. And he's allergic to floss and dogs… well either that or the dogs are allergic to him. We're both allergic to perfume as well."

Naruto did the O.O face again. "Suke's brother is allergic to a lot of stuff…."

"And then I'm allergic to … cauliflower, cats … Crest… Listerine, and… fake sugar."

"… whoa… freakish… and Gaara likes all the stuff you're allergic to…"

"I know. That's why I try to stay away from him. Especially when he drags out perfume to scare Itachi away."

"... Gaara has what!"

"Perfume. Not that scary…. Not like what's rumored to be in his room. Which I doubt any of them are in there considering Neji usually keeps him in check but I dunno."

"… But still! Gaara has perfume which is totally really … just weird!"

Kankuro walked in as Naruto said the above line and said, "He has pink paint in his room in three different shades too… and a bunch of ribbons and this one Halloween costume that was really really slutty."

"… FREAKY FREAKY FREAKY!"

"… No that's just disturbing," replied Sasuke.

"… Kankuro… Why is Naruto yelling freaky freaky freaky while running down the hall?" asked Gaara.

"Uh... um nothing!"

"He was telling Sasuke and Naruto about the pink paint, the ribbons and… hold on… the… oh Jesus! You told them about **THAT** Halloween costume!" cried Neji

"Damn Neji and his uncanny ability to know everything. … so what if I did?"

"Do you care?" asked Neji to Gaara.

"… Nah… Aren't we going to do that for Halloween this year?"

"Same as last year again?"

Kankuro did the anime fall. "Y-you mean I'm going to have to see you dressed in practically no clothing again!"

"… …Oh that's the one I wore during Christmas because Hinata dared me to. The one I wore last year was really tight fitting though."

"… You looked hot in it…. Both of them…" stated Neji. Sasuke and Kankuro stared at Neji awkwardly. Gaara rolled his eyes and slugged his boyfriend playfully.

"By the way Kankuro," Gaara had a rather evil glint in his eye, "How did you know that outfit was in my closet?"

"Uh… um…"

"And how did you know about the paint I wonder."

"Well you see-"

"And about me and Neji!"

"… uh well …"

"… we're waiting Kankuro."

"… um… I hid a camera in your room and your closet?"

"… I thought you knew better," replied Gaara in a rather menacingly evil way as he cracked his knuckles.

"FREAKY FREAKY FREAKY FREAKY- oh hi - FREAKY FREAKY FREAKY!" yelled Naruto as he ran right past them and then ran back down the hall.

"He must've run out of hallway…" stated Sasuke. The black haired boy turned around to see Gaara beating the living shit out of his older brother. Neji was sitting there, watching the redhead like usual. Sasuke felt that it was a good time to go and find someone he could talk with that wouldn't freak him out as much. But to everyone's convenience, Itachi showed up!

"SUKE-CHAN!" cried the hyperactive teen as he glomped his younger brother. Gaara paused in mid punch to stare at Itachi and then he looked at Neji and they nodded at each other. Then they made a run for it. Itachi was still being the parallel of a hyper active fangirl. Sasuke was ready to cry; Kankuro was about to die and Naruto was still screaming his head off.

* * *

Hope you're all happy cause i put up two chapters. That's right TWO chapters. I know i'm missing question marks but i can't fix that cause fanfiction won't let me. If you have a solution please contact me.Thank you to those of you who commented. I honestly don't know what really is in Gaara's Magical Coffee, you could try putting grey puke in it but i don't think that'll make it taste good. While i'm on the subject,I'llupload an extra chapter on how to make Grey Puke later. it isn't gonna be that long but yeah. No Grey puke is not actually puke turned gray. So PLEASE, dear god, PLEASE KEEP COMMENTING! otherwise i won't post no more and just write for my own entertainment. 


	7. Guidance Counselors and Pink

Chapter 7: Naruto and Sasuke's Somewhat Sane Conversation

It started out like any other day, constant yelling, fighting and whatnot. Except today Neji and Gaara were gone, again, and Naruto hadn't gone for ramen. Mostly because Sasuke had tied him to a chair and forced the blonde to keep him company.

"Why did you have to tie me to a chair Suke?" asked Naruto, tugging at the rope.

"To make sure you didn't try and run away…" replied Sasuke in an oddly creepy tone. Naruto edged away from his currently crazy friend. Hopefully the younger Uchiha wouldn't turn into a deranged maniac or anything.

"Ne… Sasuke have you been getting enough sleep?" asked the blonde.

"….maybe…"

"Y'know it helps if you actually sleep."

"Well I can't with your incessant snoring! Haven't slept in two days… very sleep deprived. I was about ready to wear black eyeliner to hide the bags. But Gaara was the only one in the entire school who had any and he hid it from me… so now I go to school with bags under my eyes and people laughing at me."

"I snore?"

"Yes …. Very loudly… even Neji can hear you when it's quiet."

"Wow cool!"

"It is so not cool!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not and I can prove it!"

"Really?"

"No not really. I just wanted to stop the long line of 'is not' and 'is too's."

"That's a lame excuse."

"At least I won't die from too much sodium!"

"At least I don't have legions and legions of rabid fangirls!"

"At least I'm not blonde!"

"ARE YOU SAYING THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH US BLONDES?"

"YES I AM! Although it might just be you…"

"Oh I see how it is!"

"Good!"

"Fine! I'm leaving!" Naruto began to hop towards the doorway.

"The door's locked you idiot."

"I am not an idiot! Just mentally challenged…"

"You're an idiot suffering from down syndrome!"

"YOU'RE AN EGOTISTICAL JERK WHO DOESN'T CARE ABOUT OTHERS!"

They continued bickering and bickering until, lo and behold the door swung open, effectively knocking out Naruto and shutting Sasuke up.

"Goddamn you two are loud…" muttered Gaara from the doorway. Sasuke was still staring at the poor, knocked out blonde.

"We were sent here to give you this note Sasuke." Neji handed the black haired boy a red note. Sasuke quickly scanned it and his face turned grave. It read:

_Sasuke Uchiha_

_Report to the Guidance Counselor's office immediately._

Sasuke groaned, what did he do now? The Uchiha child slowly got up and left the room. Neji and Gaara stared at his retreating back and then down to the unconscious blonde. Several slightly evil thoughts ran through Gaara's mind and Neji was busy trying to read his boyfriend's thoughts. The redhead finally decided on a plot and amazingly Neji said it was okay.

"Thank you Neji!" cried Gaara and hugged his boyfriend; then he ran off to find some ribbons, some pink hair dye and pink paint. Neji sighed; this was going to be something to take pictures of. The Hyuuga went to go grab his camera.

_With Sasuke…_

The black haired boy trudged along towards the main school building, dreading what was going to happen. Thanks to Kankuro the school now depended on him to keep watch on the four of them to make sure to report any problems. Of course Kankuro new better to report on Neji or Gaara considering last time they didn't go to their appointment and went to his dorm instead… that hadn't been a very pretty sight.

Now, more than ever, he wished his brother would kill Kankuro. He found himself standing in front of the Counselor's office and hesitantly he knocked. The door swung open and Itachi Uchiha glomped his unsuspecting brother.

"HA I win!" cried the older, what he won we may never know. Anyways, Mr. Iruka sat behind his desk and smiled at the two.

"Well now. I've been hearing that you've had a lot of problems lately. Care tell?"

Sasuke sighed, no way he was gonna get out of this. "Well let's see… Naruto snores to loud. I can't sleep at night. I'm deprived of rest. Gaara has been scaring the shit out of me when he hasn't done a single thing so far. Neji won't try and stop Gaara. Gaara wouldn't let me borrow his eyeliner to cover up the bags under my eyes. I've been hallucinating. Itachi has been glomping me. Kankuro's been videotaping me. That crazy art teacher is stalking me… I know it… DON'T TRY AND DENY IT!"

"Calm down Sasuke. Orochimaru-san is not stalking you… he's been devising up plots in his basement. Did you get ear plugs?"

"Yes… they don't work…"

Iruka sighed. This was going to be one of those longer sessions.

_Back with Gaara and Neji_

Gaara was in the process of tying bows into Naruto's, now pink, hair. He'd also proceeded to dye Naruto's clothing pink as well. Neji was taking pictures of his boyfriend's current mischief. Gaara was finally satisfied with the amount of ribbons in Naruto's hair and took some pink eyeliner out and lined the blue eyed boy's eyes. Then he took out the pink lipstick he had and applied that along with some other make up-y stuff.

"Too bad Naruto's ears aren't pierced…" mumbled Gaara. Neji smiled down at the redhead.

"We wouldn't want him waking up to soon would we?"

The younger sighed and replied, "I guess your right… again…"

Then he went back to adding finishing touches on his… er… masterpiece… I guess. Y'know a few sparkles, some glitter, jewelry, stuff like that. Gaara stood back and admired his work.

"…. I dunno. He doesn't look like a chick."

"…. I can't help you with that," remarked Neji.

"Eh, I can deal with that. One more photo and then we need to go get the balloons."

Neji's camera's shutter clicked one last time and they left to get Sasuke's 'special' surprise.

_At the counselor's office_

"And now I have the feeling that I'm gay and it's all Itachi's fault I tell you! And my pet goldfish in 3rd grade died because my dad 'accidentally' let it run away. But fish can't run away and then he got me a parakeet but while I was at summer camp the birdy flew away and this time dad blamed it on Itachi but Itachi didn't do it because if he did I woulda cried and in that point of time Itachi didn't like it when I cried so I knew it wasn't him so it must've been my dad who mentally scarred me for life by letting all of my pets 'run' away. Then there was this one time that my mom left me at the mall accidentally in kindergarten and it wasn't a very nice mall mind you but no one was with me and I started crying and then Itachi came and got me and then I didn't talk to my mom anymore and then my dad forced me to and I didn't like him anymore either so then the only person in my family that I likedish was Itachi but he's sitting right here now and then he went to this school and then mommy and daddy made me go here because they thought there was something mentally wrong with me like everyone else in this school and then I met Kisame and he scared me, because he has blue skin and all of that but then I met Gaara and Neji but I never guessed that one day they would be 'together' and it was weird but anyways-"

"Ok Sasuke you can go now…" said Iruka, trying his hardest not to shout and yell at the rambling boy in front of him. Sasuke left the counselor's office feeling as if his throat hurt a little too much. His brother had fallen asleep halfway through his ramblings, thank goodness. If Itachi had heard any of that, Sasuke probably would have been glomped to death and drowned in tears of joy.

Thus the black-haired boy walked away from the main building, assured that everything else would be decently okay. But due to his bad luck curse it wasn't his best day. A water balloon fell from the sky and _plop!_ It landed on Sasuke's head covering him in pink paint. Everyone around him, which was quite a few people, began to laugh. Then three or four more fell from the sky and only one missed hitting Sasuke, it hit Kankuro instead. The poor black haired boy was drenched in pink paint and yet it was ridiculously funny to some people. Is it to you?

Well, trying to recover what little dignity he had, he made his way up to his dorm room and opened the door to the kitchen. He stared down at the knocked out/sleeping boy lying at his feet. Sasuke almost died laughing at Naruto. It was one of the happier perks of his day. The Uchiha grabbed his camera and took several pictures before going to his room to take a shower.

Of course, across the way, Gaara was snickering at the pictures they had taken of Sasuke as he got pelted with paint balloons. Neji was busy scanning and uploading them onto his website.

"That was great throwing Neji."

"And that was a great idea Gaara."

* * *

I read comments again. I felt guilty. Here's a chapter. not two. cuz... i still need to write some of it. 


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